I think the underlying motivation is more important. We spend a lot of time apart as it is, what with our crazy traveling and meeting up in places a t...ousand miles from home.“On the other hand, I can think of a situation where some guy I’ve met suggests some kind of special weekend for some unique event. I might like to go, and yet there’s nothing dangerously romantic about it. I could imagine a trip to New York for some unique performance, just to create one scenario.”I said, “We should maybe. Just after Judy’s husband died. My Mom and Judy both newly single struck up a friendship that has lasted over fifteen years. When Mom got remarried Judy was by her side. Then when she divorced my step dad after only two years of marriage, Judy was there again. I asked Judy recently if she and Mom had ever been lovers. Just joking around. But to my shock the answer was yes. It seems they were lovers. Casually, for a couple of years. Then they both found themselves with boyfriends and never were. I was light headed and slightly giddy in such a highly charged state of mind and sexual arrousal. I walked over to the far corner of the balcony, at its darkest point and without looking back at the approaching figure, some 10 steps behind me, leant out on the balcony rail and cluching my wine glass with both hands, I closed my eyes and waited for him to take me.This act of total surrender, of offering my body to a man for his, and my own, sexual gratification, is part of what drives me even. "Tonight? Oh, no! No, not yet. I haven't broken up with my boyfriend yet." Couldn't we -- get started, and you could break up with him tomorrow?" No. That won't work. I would never sleep with two guys at the same time. I wouldn't sleep with you until we've broken up." Maybe you could phone him," I said, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. My momentary excitement at the prospect of getting laid was already subsiding.Well, hell, I hadn't been expecting to get laid tonight. Nothing was new.
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