A minutewent by in silence. Eventually it was broken by his words, spoken meekly, almostin shame. He knelt next to me on the bed and softly said, ?Mar..., God has melted our two souls divinely together. And as my wife I honourand respect you above all others. I can see the fear in your eyes and feelsaddened that you should assume I can be that cruel, so routed in ways rejectedmany years past. I swear on this clan, on everything I hold sacred, that Iwill never willingly hurt you. You must believe. " She loved to walk around naked in Berkeley's apartment and would stay naked when Felix and Romy were around. She would lay around languidly. She would drink whiskey quietly and smoke cigarettes, like a cat on the sofa, while the company laughed and joked and smoked marijuana. But when one of the others looked at her, they almost always caught her brightly taking everyone in. There was a light in her eyes almost all the time. When Felix and Jodi were at Berkeley's and it was just the four of. Crane proved anything, it was that we could never be friends. My advanced maturity to the contrary, he couldn't get past the age gap. What's more, he was thoroughly ensconced in academia. I wasn't, which made me an inferior outsider, and with the exception of our discussion about Jane Wilson, he treated the luncheon as an art critic interviewing an up-and-coming young artist.Neither of us brought up Sherry and Vivian.After lunch, he followed me to my studio to view my paintings. He was effusive. I feel like exploding. I don't understand what's happening now. Julia says she'll help, umm. Julia says I can be your girlfriend, but I don't understand how that's possible. You talk about testing me, but why and what for? You're the nicest person I've ever met and I know you're special in very strange ways. I'll already do whatever you tell me, so why do I need to be tested?"Carol's question had initially had me worried about how to answer because I only had a vague idea of what Julia was.
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