Andmost men want more than a handful...a lot more. A large nose with anannoying bump on it. (My parents always told me that it gave mecharacter, but y...u know how parents are).I started going to clubs. I registered on dating sites. I went to speeddating events. I had a few contacts, but nothing ever went past a firstdate, until Michael came along.Michael was handsome--a head of curly dark hair, a dazzling smile, andsix-pack abs. And he was charming. Oh, he was charming. I surrendered myvirginity. As I looked at it all, it crossed my mind if it was even safe to eat.“Fuck this shit!” I said aloud to the room.When I got to our room, I could hear the shower going, so headed to our bathroom. The door was locked, we never locked the door.After a couple of rattles, I said, “Right,” and went to my bedside table and grabbed a pen.The lock was the sort that had a safety hole on the outside, where you could just push something into the hole, and it would unlock the door. As I popped the lock and. " Nah." You grin. "Glutton for punishment."We get the all clear and slowly the office begins to file into the building. Five thousand drones surge toward the doors at once. You pull me out of the crowd."We could take the stairs."We both know that the door is locked on our floor. I don't think you plan to walk to the eight stories. I let you lead me aside. No one is watching as we slip into the side door.I pull you to me and fall back against the hard, cold concrete wall. You take the hint and. .. back to the house ... NOW!” I said.We started to run ... the van sped up.I heard the gate at the drive crunch.“Can you shoot?”Connie said, “Yes.”“Will you shoot?”She hesitated, “Umh.”“Never mind,” I said. I popped open a shelf drawer and took out Hairy’s Smith. Ever since his 1911 had jammed, Hairy had converted to wheel guns. “Behind the door is a rifle, the magazine is in it. Get it please.”It’s a good quarter mile of bad road, is our drive. I’ve been meaning to get some gravel delivered.
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