Last year, at our office Christmas party — it’s a real bash, catered, three open bars — things got pretty giggly. But do not worry, yrs. truly d...d not, as they say in some circumstances, sample the merchandise.Auntie Pru gave me a gentle reminder, “Keep your fucking hands to yourself, Birdie.”My sainted mother, “Keep it in your pants, Birdie.”Being on Triple A best Behavior did not preclude me from overhearing a nice compliment from our Receptionist, Missy Banks, “I don’t think that Birdie is. Because Joan had no interest in outdoor activities, I always went alone. Those were always day hikes and I never ventured into the more-rugged areas due to lack of experience and safety concerns at hiking alone.After about a month of hiking alone, I looked online to find a hiking club where I could meet others with similar interests, and where I would be able to join others on more-challenging hikes. I finally located The Bighorn Hiking Club, which is named after the Rocky Mountain Bighorn. Returning to the conference room to investigate the noises, I tried the door but it was locked!As Office Manager, Claire kept emergency spare keys in her office, and I retrieved the spare for the conference room. I managed to time unlocking the door with some particularly loud noises inside so nobody heard me, then I opened the door a fraction, hoping it wasn't a management meeting still in progress.Inside I saw Claire and the little red-haired temp lying on the conference table and. What is she doing? I thought this was just playing around or a joke? I never intended for her to go have sex with a black man. The bartender brings my beer as I watch my wife get into the elevator with him. She really did it. I'm now realize I'm sitting at a bar by myself and everybody there just watched my wife walk out with a black man to go have sex with him. I waited a little while but I felt like everyone there was starring at me thinking, "hey dude, do you know what your wife is doing.
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