The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This ...ompliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too. Her voice a breathless whisper, she said, “Bedroom?” He nodded, daring to let one hand slide down to her ass. Her eyebrows twitched upward, and it dawned on him that she didn’t know where it was. “Oh… Uhm…” She chuckled and stepped back, letting one of her hands slide from his back and down his arm until she clasped his hand. She nodded, and he led her down the hall, unable to take his eyes off her. As soon as they were next to the bed, she reached for the tail of his shirt and pulled it up.. King came closest to the truth. But they all got stuck on that Vlad stuff. Blood and stakes and silver crucifixes. Me? I like a nicely made crucifix. And if you think you're taking me down with a wooden stake? Hah, good luck.That's enough for now. Dinner will be at five. I don't necessarily NEED food. But it tastes good. However, I do really need a good feast. And that reminds me. I have a likely candidate tied up in my back room. A feisty little redhead. Her fiery bush looks so tasty. But. As they went on, though, their demeanor sobered, and each of them got a faraway look. When one of them lifted up her voice and shrieked:"The scalloped tatters of the King in Yellow must hide Yhtill forever!"—it elicited such a horrible cry of elation from the audience that I felt I had to leave. I pushed my way through the dumbstruck Alphas who stood shoulder to shoulder in the doorway, hurrying upstairs to find my coat and get out of that place before I had to hear anymore of those horrible.
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