I’ve even dated a couple of guys who would have been justified in believing they were my boyfriend except that if I’d lost them, well, there was n...ver any real possibility I’d lose them, it wouldn’t have mattered to me at all. It would have had all the emotional impact of oh, it’s raining, let me get an umbrella. ‘But I don’t have any experience doing this. It scared the hell out of me, and that made me want to spend as much time with you as I could. I don’t know why, but it seemed like that. "Fred if you fuck this up, I'll be the one to cut your balls off. Just give her this number and tell her I said yes. Nothing more, nothing less." I wrote my number on a card and handed it to him. I finished my drink and left. I didn't go back to the bar for a week. Every day I waited for her call and every night the dreams grew more intense. Then after about a week it came. I had been sipping a drink listening to some soft jazz when the phone rang."Hello Paul. Did you think I would never call?". It is as if your tribe thought of itself not as the Mammoth Hunters of the steppes but as worshippers of the permafrost." That is just blasphemy," Ivory argued. "The spirits exist to serve our tribe and keep us safe from harm."Glade didn't offer any alternative view, but Ivory already knew that her older lover no more respected the spirits of her tribe than she any longer did the spirits of her ancestral forest. Perhaps she had more faith in this Mother Goddess?"The Cave Painters are a tribe. She smiled at me and kissed me. Then I finally added, "Don't be afraid to have a good time and don't hold back. If you feel like screaming do it. I want to see you having a good time." She smiled again but in her eyes I saw a look of doubt, as if she feared me seeing her enjoy it too much. Maybe she feared the outcome of the night more than the night itself. For all of our lives together this had been my raging fantasy, that being twenty two years. When we first met we were teenagers and we.
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