Take walks every day, but make sure you don’t exercise too hard.”The man says, “Will that give me longer to live?”The doc replies, “No, but ...t’ll certainly seem longer.”“My missus dumped me ‘cos she says I’m too obsessed with football,” said the first fella.“How long have you been with her?” asked the second fella.“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “Horrible,” he says. “They’re always. I parked and she invited me up for a night cap.She floated like an angel to the kitchen and returned with two glasses of red wine. We sipped the wine slowly and discussed out lives. Her lips were blood red and I read desire in her piercing emerald eyes. I could see the depravity under the surface of this divine specimen in front of me. I knew I had found my perfect companion. I placed my finger to her lips as she started to tell some story or other and willed with every ounce of my being her to. The guy said in a cheeful way"somebodies looks like they got the cream this morning"I stuttered in my reply I'm I'm so so sorry I didnt see you there.His reply came imediately and put me at ease. Thats okay sexy you do look lovely and tell me did you get cream this morning? And with that he winked. My confidence grew and my reply shocked me as it left my lips. I only has a slice of toast and coffee this morning no cream...... yet and I laughed in a naughty girlie way.A look came over his face. Of course, my passengers were mad at me and had given me a good scolding. I was embarrassed because I had never gone off the road before in all my adventures. Fortunately for all of us, a guy in a jeep came by and pulled us out. I have since learned that guys in jeeps love to pull other guys, especially ones with beautiful girls in the car, out of ditches. I have done the same, when the situation has presented itself.The car in front of me had spun to the right, so I attempted to move to the.
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