Oh boy! I thought when Mom asked that question. How do I handle this? You see, neither of us knew the Williams were white, and they didn't know to exp...ct a black girl either. The grant people and the college itself didn't want to make an issue of race so it was decided that the question of race wouldn't be asked.I decided the best way to deal with this was to be straight and get through it without making too much of it. If I hemmed and hawed and danced around the question, Mom would know. If I could’ve just shut myself off, emptied my mind, drifted away ... well, I might still be suffering from personality disorders, but it would’ve hurt a lot less while it was happening. And I don’t mean physical pain, though it quite frequently hurt that way too. But the thing is, I didn’t. I made a different choice. The problem was that I was too young and too damaged to make it. So my body made it for me.” It took her a long time, and a lot of tear-soaked tissues, to gather the strength to. This just doesn't happen in real life!I grinned at her, "oh, I'll be there. Just lead the way."Running around my car to my door, I heard her laughing at my rushing and I flashed my grin at her. I started up my car and waited until she'd backed out to do so, myself. She led me from the parking lot and down the road.On the drive to her house, I was flashing through all of my fantasies and wondered which of them was about to come true. Of course, at least parts of most of them were imminent, but I. I usually stayed until 7:30, but at 2:00, I had had it, and started packing. By 3:30, my truck was loaded, I got in, and started the ancient Mercedes-Benz diesel engine. I grabbed the shift-lever angrily, and slammed it into first, dropped the clutch, and belched out of there.By 4:00, this being my closest market, I was pulling through the gates of our yard, and I noticed that fucking yellow Mustang that was sometimes parked across from the house when I got home. I road on our driveway.
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