While she holds me I will hold her. I will hold her head, lightly close her eyes. And bring my fingers lightly down her face. Across her forehead, her...temples, around the backs of her ears. Coax the stress out of her jawline and tease her lips with the lightest touch just to feel their warmth. I would ask her to melt under my touch. My kneading grip on her shoulders, thumbing her clavicles and dragging strong fingers against her shoulders. I would run my hands down her back. Both walking my. I have always had trouble with girls my own age. It wasn’t that I was not good looking; it was because, despite being 19, I looked like I was 14. Whenever I went out with my friends, people we would meet often asked if I was someone’s little brother. Girls would always say that I was “cute” which would drive me absolutely insane. Needless to say I had trouble meeting my sexual needs.I was going to a local community college and lived at home with my mom. We had lived alone together since I was 4. Before Mandy arrived on the scene, Leigh and Mel’s friendship blossomed. As the weeks dragged on Mel became quite besotted by him. I don’t know if it was just a schoolgirl type crush or if she generally did love him, whatever it was it was apparent that Leigh didn’t have the same feelings. Somehow Mel had to let him know how she felt. So she penned a letter, four or five pages and poured her heart out. In it she wondered whether he would be interested in perhaps taking their friendship a step. He punched a hole in the wall in the hallway and took off. Now he’s not answering any of my parent’s calls. So…I wanted to know…um….what exactly happened between you guys? I figured you were the best person to ask, since you didn’t break anything at the store.” Taking a deep breath I launched into the story of waking up to find him in bed with Amanda. I told her that John and I haven’t seen or spoken to each other since. This whole time my eyes were locked onto the carpet, but as I finished I.
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