The thing was, I couldn’t tell my mom that it wasn’t David who made me cry. It was the realization that I was getting to be too old for Dashboard ...onfessional and the other emo music I had grown to love since my sophomore year. In my mind I was bidding goodbye to The Get Up Kids and Jets to Brazil. Then I thought about Ben with his adolescent antics and how amusing he was, but how he would probably always be that way with no direction in his life other than having fun. This led to my thought. On the way, I came clean to themboth. I had debated with myself whether or not I should, but I amconvinced that if I am going to be a member of their team, I have to beable to be honest with them. Ares' reaction was priceless. He is an old-fashioned man's man and you could tell the concept gave him pause. Buthe showed why he is admired by almost everyone when the confusion heobviously felt was replaced by acceptance.Doc is a lot harder to read.But I am glad I did it, because it was a good. Of course i weared only simple jeans, a shirt a few numbers to large and my long wild hair binded careless, like this no one would see that i am female.We went to my motel. When we where alone at my room i felt shy again, i knew what i wanted to do of course i wanted to seduce him soft and tender, wanted to kiss him, to whisper him all this beautiful things in his ears which i ever thought about when i was dreaming of him – but i didn`t trust me to do it. So i only looked into his lovely face. Somewhat bowlegged in this restrictive attire, I was to fasten theclasps of a new 36B white lace under-wire bra.Arraying the top of my bedroom dresser with a huge stack of diapers,assorted pins stuck into a bar of soap, four pairs of plastic panties,my baby powder, diaper rash cream, Vaseline and a box of diaper wipes.Joyfully toddling down the stairs to the kitchen, the bottles werebrought upstairs from the 'fridge, along with an assortment of babyfood jars and arranged to crowd the bureau.
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